Monogamy isn't natural. Sometimes I wonder if we, as people, were meant to be monogamous. (No that doesn't mean my marriage is in trouble or on the rocks in any way).
But I go back and forth debating it, and a lot of the times I don't think it is natural.
That being said, I do think it is possible. I think our natural state and humanly desires pull us apart from the path of monogamy. If you try and want it bad enough you can obtain it. Its not something that comes natural, its something you have to work at, not once but constantly. That doesn't mean you are fighting every day to stay faithful, don't get confused between the two. Two people remaining together for the rest of their lives is not easy, but 100% possible.
The irony of me, of all people, feeling I have the audacity to speak on this topic is a little bit comical. You see, when I was younger and naive to falling in real love, I had a similar but more drastic view. I was often quoted as saying "Marriage is the last form of legal slavery." It petrified me to imagine giving away what I saw as my freedom to someone else. I didn't want anything to do with it, and for the most part of my life had no problem following that idea. No one thought I would get married when I did, I sure didn't. I never saw it coming. But thats how it happens right? It hit me like a bus, in every sense of the phrase. It was fast, and in a way painful. When my relationship began I became my worse fear; that head-over-heels, defines logic, ignores reason, stars-in-their-eyes girls. The people I had always mocked was suddenly who was looking back at me in the mirror. And with that came a giant blind spot, our relationship wasn't spotless or without hurt. But in a way I think thats what made our love so strong, if it were like any other relationship I would have walked away early on without a care in the world like I had done so many times before. He captivated me; mind, body, and soul.
The second part to this trip is when couples use breaking up or getting a divorce in arguments. This is such a big red flag to me, but for some people thats how they do. My mind can not make sense of that. Why would you want to threaten someone to stay with you, or shape up. If you are putting that on the table, to me that is just inviting problems, and just shows resorting to extremes. Having a partner that reacts or does this (again to me) is so off-putting. If my husband ever dropped the D word (yes, I call it that because it is such a big dark scary thing in my mind) on me in a fight, threatening to divorce me unless I did something I would tell him bye. Why would you want someone to treat you that way, or why would you want to treat the person you love more than anyone else that way? I think I would actually instantly cry if either one of us talked like that. If you are going to put the D word out there, you better have the guts to back it up and not just use it as a tool to get what you want. And by all means that doesn't imply that mine or others marriages are perfect without arguments, but it should be handed in a respectful manner. Go to counseling, do something that will have a positive reaction, or at least you could grow from. Maybe that makes me sensitive and emotional. But I'll tell you something else that that makes me, respectful to my marriage.
Some of you will most likely get pissed off by that statement but I won't apologize for you feeling what is ultimately guilt.
Now these two quotes forever stay imprinted on my heart and brain. They ring with so much truth…
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